My miracle is 1!

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I know some of you are just finding my blog and I know many of you just check in every once in awhile. I don’t have much to report, my life is crazy, my boys are wonderful and energetic. Three kids is a bit of a three ring circus but I wouldn’t have it any other way. My sweet Andrew turned 1 in January. It was, easily, the fastest year of my life. His little personality is starting to develop and its amazing to watch him turn into a little person. I’m enjoying getting to know this new little man in my life. My 3.5 year old, Elliott is amazing with him. I can’t wait until he gets to be a bit older and all three of them are thick as thieves. My 6.5 year old is smart, funny, and sweet. My heart is full.

Speaking of Elliott – here’s my other miracle that was chronicled so extensively on this blog…

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What a funny guy he has become…almost 4 now and quite the imp. They say he looks more like me and I don’t mind it at all.

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It still blows my mind sometimes that there were five lost to get these three sweet faces calling my name every day…..that had any of those worked out I wouldn’t have these amazing little men in my life.  But that was my journey and this is my family at the end of that journey. I’ve been having a bit of a hard time saying goodbye to the baby stage. I’m clinging hard to my last baby but he’s rapidly headed towards toddlerhood and I can’t do a thing to stop it other than snuggle him when he will slow down long enough to let me. But I also am excited about the next phase, three children, three boys in all their glory.

My family is complete and I’m grateful to be at this point, and grateful to all of you who read through and helped me in my darkest times. If you are here now then things probably seem pretty bleak…but there is an ending, a happy ending, and a beginning too. Hang in there. Don’t give up hope. You will get there, I promise.

A

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8 thoughts on “My miracle is 1!

  1. Anna says:

    Hi! I accidentally came across your blog today after searching endlessly for answers and it gives me hope. It seems like my journey, the struggle, is in its beginning stages and, yet, it’s already been an emotional roller coaster ride. So far, I’ve had 2 chemical pregnancies (one after trying for the first time Nov. 2013 and one accidently in April 2014). This past cycle around we started trying again and I tried not to be neurotic and didn’t test early for once. I figured I’d let nature take it’s course, track my symptoms, temps, etc. and hope it will naturally be okay this time. I had pregnancy symptoms that I felt before during the 2 ww. Well, despite that I don’t have a test to prove it, I’m pretty sure I just had a third chemical pregnancy. We try and, on the first attempt, we seem to succeed. And, then, failure….Frustrated. Cheated. Sad…they don’t even begin to explain how I’ve been feeling. I’m seeing my Obgyn/fertility expert Monday to regroup and come up with a game plan. I’m eager to start a med regimen….something to try to prevent this from happening again. My FemVUE/HSG was normal, my androgen hormone borderline high, my progesterone borderline low and I think my luteal phase is just shy of being normal length. After reading your blog, I’m hopeful that the regimen you were on or a similar one can finally give us at least one healthy little one. My heart jumps when I see a baby and, I jokingly say, that my uterus does somersaults. The meme you posted not too long ago about chemical pregnancies resonated so much with me. It’s exactly how it feels…excitement, hope, caution, the joy of possibilities to come, the silent smiles, the pain, the tears, the despair, the feeling of being cheated….again…

    I wanted to write to thank you for your blog. It was just what I needed to read today. I’ll remember your journey and the sweet faces of your little boys as I go through mine :). Here’s to hoping my journey (and those of women in similar situations) is as successful as yours! Thank you again.

    • rowanthefrog says:

      Anna,

      Thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. I hope that you have had positive progress on your journey by now. Please keep us posted.

      A

  2. Molly says:

    I am not sure if you are continuing to keep up with your blog. But I sat down today and read the entire thing. I have a beautiful healthy almost 6 year old but in the past year I have had 2 chemical pregnancies and I think that I am having a 3rd. My obgyn acts like it is no big deal but on the other hand wants to do all sorts of procedures and prescribe medication. Thought it wasn’t a big deal… It has been very hard and emotional. I feel like something is wrong with me and it’s my fault. Not sure where to begin but I think a new doctor is a good start. I think I fall into the same category as you I get pregnant every try. Nobody in my family has ever had pregnancy issues so this is all new to me. And most of them have no idea what I have gone through or am going through. That’s why I wanted to take time to thank you for this amazing blog it helped me more than you will ever know. Most of the people that do know my situation just say that it was a false positive and that it wasn’t really a pregnancy. Even though a doctor is saying it was. Thank for making me not feel crazy. And letting me and all the other women out there know that we are not alone.

    • rowanthefrog says:

      Hi Molly,

      I do read all of the comments and reply when I can (though sometimes it takes me awhile.) I’m so sorry to hear about your losses and I’m glad that my blog has helped you. Did you find a new doctor? Did you get any bloodwork run? Hopefully have progressed some in your journey for answers. Please keep us posted.

      A

  3. Kellie Trezise says:

    I previously replied on an earlier post. Do you have any information for me, as today ive suffered another chemical pregnancy.

  4. Susie says:

    Hi Amy,
    Thanks for sharing your journey. It’s lovely to read that despite your very hard journey it worked out in the end. In the middle of my chemical pregnancy it’s just what i needed. I am armed now with loads of questions and test requests for my fertility specialist to run. Thanks for giving me hope and fueling my determination to fight for what matters – another baby.
    With love,
    Susie

  5. mommalove says:

    Hi. I’ve been searching the Web for weeks trying to find some kind of answer to what I’ve been going through – and I stumbled across your blog. I’ve been reading the whole thing all morning with tears pouring down my face. Because I know the pain you were experiencing and because of the pain I’m still going through. My story is a little different than most because I’ve had 5 successful pregnancies resulting in 6 healthy babies. All of which im so incredibly thankful for. A year and a half ago we had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted in an early loss. After that we decided to try for number 7. 4 months later I got pregnant and everything seemed fine. For some reason I had an uneasy feeling from the start, but nothing concrete to think anything was wrong. We had a healthy baby and heartbeat at 8wks, but when I went for my 12 wk scan the baby’s heart had stopped. I had D & C 2 days later. Since that time we have been actively TTC. As of last month I have now had 6 CPs. Every single time i get a positive hpt, and go to get my betas drawn. Betas never go up except once. One time they went from 4 to 16 only to drop again the next week. My Ob referred me to an RE. We’ve done almost every test you named, and NOTHING. I’ve done a round of Keflex just in case for endometritis, am taking Progesterone (just in case ), and have added a baby aspirin. My Dr now recommends Letrozole for my next cycle even though I ovulate on my own. I’m at the end of my rope and feel like we should just stop if I’m going to keep losing these babies. To make things even harder, shortly after my miscarriage my 2 sis in laws got pregnant. My 1 sis in law just had a baby (her 5th) and my other sis in law is due any day with number 5. I just dont understand how I would have 5 normal, uneventful pregnancies and then go through this!

  6. Nic says:

    Hello! Thanks for the wonderful website! I had made a posting about a week ago. I do not see it on your website yet. Is it better to email you directly to ask questions? Thanks in advance, Best regards, Nicole

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