Last beta back and some mantras to remember

I got my beta back.  316, doubling time of 36 hours.  So I guess I need to just try to relax and wait for my first ultrasound.  I’m not going to get any more bloodwork done, and I will even try to stop peeing on tests to see if the line gets any darker, since today’s line was as dark as the control line.

When I had my very first miscarriage, I went onto the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss boards on thebump.com.  Through our history of shared loss, I became very close with a group of women from that board and we have remained in touch ever since online.

We have some mantras for when you are pregnant after a loss, and I’m going to post them here…for you, for me…for whoever needs them.  When you start to doubt yourself and your body, just use these as often as necessary.  Replace your anxiety with these.

  1. “Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.” 
  2. “I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.” 
  3. “My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.” 
  4. “Just because something sad is happening to someone you know, does not mean it will happen to you.” We all know miscarriage and complications are not contagious! 
  5. “Hope does not make bad things happen” You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive! 
  6. Hardest one: “There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn’t prevent a miscarriage And if (god forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.”

So…today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

Also, I’m not sure if it is because I’ve been posting here a lot lately, but I have been receiving so many comments on this blog the past few days and I appreciate your comments and that you are sharing your stories with me.  I’m glad so many people are finding useful information here.  Thank you also for your encouragement.  It really means a lot to me and helps to know that there are others out there hoping that this works out for us.  Please know that I think of my readers often and hope that you also find success and a baby in your arms.

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5 thoughts on “Last beta back and some mantras to remember

  1. Ksenia says:

    Congrats on great betas! They are so great. I think the mantras are great. I was trying to think along those lines during my second pregnancy, but it was hard. But I think the next time (if there will be a next time) I will just force myself to think positively.

  2. niamh says:

    I am currently taking great solace from those mantras, I have shared them with some fellow pregnant after a loss mums I am 5 weeks pregnant and feeling uneasy and nervous so need to refocus and stay positive as much as I can thank you for sharing with us

    • rowanthefrog says:

      I’m so glad…they were my sanity during those long long hours of early pregnancy. I hope that things have progressed well with your pregnancy. Keep us posted.

      A

  3. Mandy says:

    Thank you for this. I discovered your blog a few weeks ago searching for hope and strength as I had a miscarriage nine months ago followed by two chemicals and had just discovered I was, again, not pregnant. I was in a state of constant grief. After reading you found success with femara and hcg injections, that’s exactly what I did….and lo and behold, it worked! I am barely 4 weeks but my betas and progesterone were high, praise the lord. So I am pregnant. Today. I’m so scared for the next few months and I’m so afraid to be happy or to think of names or brainstorm nursery plans…it’s just too early. But this post reminded me that I am pregnant in this moment, and I can be happy today just for that fact. Thank you for pointing that out to me. God bless you and your beautiful family.
    Mandy

    • rowanthefrog says:

      Mandy,

      Congratulations on your healthy betas and I hope by now you have seen that beautiful heartbeat!! I know how hard it is to keep your cool during those early weeks but take it moment by moment, day by day and the weeks will start to fly by. Fingers, toes, everything crossed that your pregnancy continues on a good path and you are holding that sweet baby in December!

      A

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