I got my beta back. 316, doubling time of 36 hours. So I guess I need to just try to relax and wait for my first ultrasound. I’m not going to get any more bloodwork done, and I will even try to stop peeing on tests to see if the line gets any darker, since today’s line was as dark as the control line.
When I had my very first miscarriage, I went onto the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss boards on thebump.com. Through our history of shared loss, I became very close with a group of women from that board and we have remained in touch ever since online.
We have some mantras for when you are pregnant after a loss, and I’m going to post them here…for you, for me…for whoever needs them. When you start to doubt yourself and your body, just use these as often as necessary. Replace your anxiety with these.
- “Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.”
- “I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise.”
- “My past does not dictate my future. A previous miscarriage does not mean I will have another miscarriage.”
- “Just because something sad is happening to someone you know, does not mean it will happen to you.” We all know miscarriage and complications are not contagious!
- “Hope does not make bad things happen” You cannot ‘jinx’ your pregnancy by creating a ticker, getting excited, or telling someone. Live in the positive!
- Hardest one: “There is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn’t prevent a miscarriage And if (god forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive.”
So…today I am pregnant and I love my baby.
Also, I’m not sure if it is because I’ve been posting here a lot lately, but I have been receiving so many comments on this blog the past few days and I appreciate your comments and that you are sharing your stories with me. I’m glad so many people are finding useful information here. Thank you also for your encouragement. It really means a lot to me and helps to know that there are others out there hoping that this works out for us. Please know that I think of my readers often and hope that you also find success and a baby in your arms.