I hate this roller coaster

Got my first beta back yesterday afternoon.  8.5.  I mean, really 8.5? Ugh…lowest beta I’ve ever seen.  I am trying to tell myself that since I got a negative the day before, that 8.5 isn’t so bad, that numbers have to start somewhere.  That 20 women on Betabase got a beta of 6-10 on 11DPO and saw a heartbeat.  But its very hard not to be discouraged.  I took another test today and the line looks about the same as yesterday…I think.  But I find myself staring and staring and sometimes it looks lighter and sometimes it looks darker and I realize I’m driving myself crazy again.  So annoying.  Its not like I forgot how long these days were, between betas, between tests, I didn’t, but since its been awhile, I kind of blocked it out.  Now I feel like I’m right back in it, though I will say, since I do have my 2 beautiful boys, the intensity is not ratcheted up nearly as high, and I’m thankful for that.  They keep me busy enough that I can forget for a time.

If this doesn’t work out (and I’m not feeling very positive right now), at least I know a solution that worked for me before and resulted in the birth of my second son.  All I have to do is call Dr. Bruce Lessey in Greenville, SC and he will prescribe this for me again and hopefully I won’t have to go through this again…and again…and again.


8 thoughts on “I hate this roller coaster

  1. Su says:

    Hi Amy,
    Don’t be discouraged too quickly. Keep monitoring and don’t give up hope. For women like us, the emotional roller coaster is inevitable. Glad that your two boys can keep you busy and make you stay out of it for a moment. Keep us posted.

  2. Littlebird says:

    Hi there

    Hang in there. It is such a roller coaster. You might want to ask them your progesterone levels at the time they take your betas. I did the last time and it gave a much clearer picture of what was happening….(although I guess if you are on prog. supplements it wouldn’t help…)?

    I have now had I think 6 or maybe 7 chemicals and 2 official miscarriages in 3 yrs (me and even the Dr have almost lost count-it sounds awful to say that but it is just crazy)-I am very familiar with looking at the preg tests to see if the lines are darkening!! My husband and I took an almost yr long break and thought we were done but have decided to give it one more kick at the can-although I am now 40 so a bit more of a worry although my FSH etc… is all normal

    I thought people on this thread might be interested in the work of Jan Brosens (just google him to find the info). He and his team have a theory that they have proved correct in their research so far. According to their research, women who have multiple early mcs have a uterine lining that somehow supports the implantation of all eggs (even abnormal ones); whereas women who don’t have recurrent mc reject the abnormal eggs and don’t help them implant. This explains why some of us might get pregnant so easily.

    Furthermore, the theory suggests that in the abnormal uterine environment (I think they say the cells decidualize differently and it’s possibly due to some sort of earlier trauma to the uterus ie. csection, d&c, etc…), once a normal egg is implanted and the HCG starts to be produced this can somehow work against the developing embryo in some cases. That is my understanding of it in layman’s terms anyways.

    Part of their new protocol involves a uterine biopsy the month before pregnancy as this apparently improves the uterine environment and I believe progesterone and prednisone in those cases where the NK cells in the uterus are raised (as evidenced by the biopsy.) It is interesting research and certainly helps with an explanation.

    As for me, my lining is very thin as well so I am going for the biopsy and then following with some supplements to plump up my lining before implantation (in addition to all the vitamin supps-COQ10, Vitamin E, prenatal, folic, etc…, etc…) . I am a little paranoid about taking prednisone or large doses of hormones and progesterone seems to have not helped me multiple times in the past so think I will skip it this time….

    Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!

  3. Angels says:

    Hi I don’t know if I’m posting in the right thing but I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and on Saturday I had a blood test done and this morning when I called nurse she called it Tyder and that my number went down to 200 does anyone know what a Tyder U.S. She said it the type I had hope I spelled it right and someone can tell me about it if they understand or tell me where u can go read about it thank you so much.

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