My miracle is a year old

2 years ago, I was as low as I have ever been in my life, having experienced 4 chemical pregnancies and completely unable to fathom how I could embark on the journey AGAIN, how I could jump back on the roller coaster, how I could set myself up for devastation and failure….AGAIN.  But at the bottom of all that blackness was a speck of light, a speck of hope, a speck that said, “you can do this. It will all be worth it.  Don’t give up.”  With great trepidation, I mustered up what was left and gave it another try…and it actually worked.  My miracle turned 1 on May 1 and I would go through it all again, every horrible second, to get him again.  He is worth all of it and then some.


And its funny, because as soon as your baby turns 1, people start asking, “are you having another? Are you going for the girl?” To be honest, I think I do want another one.  My husband isn’t so sure, but that is a discussion we will have seriously in another year or so.  The ends justify the means, I know that, but I fully admit that I am terrified to jump back on that roller coaster.  What if it happens again? How many times do I have to go through it again?  Of course I don’t know these answers, I can only hope that maybe it will be easier, it will happen faster.  But if not, if I have to do it again, I know that my 3rd child will be worth it too.  And I will be leaning on all of you to remind me that I can do it.

Keep on hoping ladies…you are stronger than you think, you can do it!


7 thoughts on “My miracle is a year old

  1. Tammy says:

    Thank you for posting. I just had my fifth early pregnancy loss. knowing you were blessed with your miracle helps me to keep holding on for mine. It doesn’t get any easier ,but I will keep going. Thank you for sharing.

    • rowanthefrog says:

      I’m so so sorry for your losses Tammy. Keep on hoping and trying…I really hope you have your successful pregnancy soon, keep me posted on your progress.

  2. Susannah says:

    Hi there, I haven’t left a comment in some time, but I did want to congratulate you on your little miracle turning ONE!!! And…my success story has arrived as well. Our second little boy was born at 40 weeks on May 22. He is my miracle:) I had 3 early miscarriages and was then diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. Anyone reading: don’t give up hope!!

    • rowanthefrog says:


      OMG congrats!!!!!! I just looked at your blog and saw your beautiful family and handsome boys…I know how it feels to be surrounded by such beautiful boys 🙂 I’m so thrilled to hear of your son’s birth and thank you so much for updating me. Enjoy your sweet little miracle…I’m enjoying every second of mine 🙂


  3. Diane says:

    Hi There, I have read many blogs but never commented until now. You have given me such hope. I have had 3 miscarriages in the last 6 months, the 1st was a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks followed by 2 chemical pregnancies in a row. ( I am miscarrying as we speak). My doctor has advised me to go on the pill for a few months to give us a break, all my blood tests have come back normal so we’re at a loss as to what’s going wrong.. I will not give up, I will go through it all again if I have to, I just hope one day I can have my own little one.
    Thanks again for your story. Di x

    • rowanthefrog says:


      I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through and that my story has given you hope. I think a break would be good, either go on the pill or be very diligent about using condoms. Keep me posted, I hope you have your success soon.


  4. Mariposa says:

    “My miracle turned 1 on May 1 and I would go through it all again, every horrible second, to get him again. He is worth all of it and then some.”

    What a beautiful shiny happy photo! It’s why I’m inspired not to give up! As difficult as it is think of continuing with it while going through it….it’s like the definition of insanity right? Lol. Same process, expecting different results. I’ve just asked my doctor to ask about trigger and booster shots. I also haven’t ruled out NK cells or immune issues.

    I think I’ll start taking wobenzym N again. I read a facinating study of its effects on women with who have had recurrent chemical pg.

    Thank you for your inspiration!

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